#WeddingWednesday | Surnames and Same-Sex Couples

My partner and I had our son just two years into our relationship, so we had the task of choosing what his surname should be. We spent the entire 9 months (and even a while after he was born!) trying to choose. To be honest, we never really gave it much thought until someone asked what his surname would be. It just wasn’t something I considered and I really don’t know when we would have started to think about it.

We tried to imagine that if we got married, who would take who’s name. The conclusion? We didn’t know! Eventually, the day before registering the birth of our son, we came to the decision of giving our son both.

Fast forward to 2017 and we are now engaged and will be getting married in mid-2018. But, the choice has to still be made. What will our surnames be? As we copped out of picking for our son, we are still none the wiser of what we want to do. Although, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want us to all take on the ‘Laverty’ name. It’s important to me, and I don’t exactly know why. But I also get that Jamie may not want to be a Laverty and not want to feel left out with our son’s name (whatever we decide with our surname, will be our sons as well).

Before our son was born I used to look at all of the options available and, honestly, we have so many more options than I thought.

Keep Name – While this is a popular choice for same-sex couples, I’m not sure how I feel about it. I want something to ‘change’ once we are married (weird, I know!).

Both Names – I wasn’t aware but when you choose to have both names you can either hyphenate them or simply put a space in between. With our son’s surname, we went for the space. What I’m not fond of with having both names is that our sons name always gets shortened down. But, it is the simplest and fairest option of them all.

Change Surname – To be honest, I really don’t see myself as an ‘Oldman’ and don’t really want to consider it as an option. I also don’t think Jamie particularly wants to move away from being an Oldman himself, either.

Create a New Name – This is something I never even thought of until it was suggested to us, but it involves giving up our names and I don’t know how I feel about that.

Swap Names – An option that I discovered was that some same-sex couples were swapping with each other. But, again, I don’t see myself as an ‘Oldman’ and that would leave the issue of our son’s name. Would we then keep both for him? Or somehow pick one?

So, while we still have no idea what to do… we will probably end up all being ‘Laverty Oldman’. How did you choose your surname?

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