Joshua is turning 3-years-old in a few months time and before he was even born people have been determined to treat him like a ‘proper boy’ (whatever that means?). Before Joshua was born we always knew that we would hate how other’s would treat him – the only thing people seem to concern themselves with is what’s between their legs. Joshua doesn’t wear his glasses on his penis, Susan, so why the concern with them being ‘boys glasses’?
People will always try to restrict children and influence their personality, based on genitals alone. Anyone else find it creepy how obsessed people are with children’s genitals?? The one thing I have always dreaded about having a child is trying hard to raise our son being free to explore the world and people trying to undo it.
When we were about to tell everyone that we were having a boy, we were excited of course but we had this underlining dread. We knew what was coming – the blue vomit was gonna hit us! Shortly after, we were gifted lots of clothes, toys and little keepsakes. While they were all lovely and, of course, we appreciated them… we couldn’t help but noticed that every single item was blue. We aren’t against blue for boys, but we hate it when people buy boys blue things because they are a boy.
Now that Joshua is older, we allow him to choose his own clothes. Essentially, anything that reflects his personality and identity, he chooses. Most people find it cute that we let him come shopping and dress himself, but they aren’t quite sure once they find out that we don’t stop him from picking out dresses. Blue, pink, cars, dolls, Peppa Pig, Paw Patrol… he can have it all.
People tend to like that we give Joshua freedom of choice, until they understand that it means he can pick ‘girl’ things too and we don’t mean ‘freedom between the boy sections’. Joshua may love diggers, cars, trains and Paw Patrol but he also loves make-up, dolls, heels and dressed – and we encourage it all.
Over the past three years, we have had people refuse to buy him ‘girl’ things, tell him that he needs a hair-cut because boys should have short hair, that he shouldn’t watch My Little Pony, refuse to buy him Peppa Pig toys and only reward him when he acts or behaves like a boy should.
It has always been important to us that we never put restrictions onto Joshua, and this works both ways. We will never discourage him to enjoy stereo-typically ‘boy’ things, neither would we for ‘girl’ things either.
We want our son to be free to explore the world around him, while developing his own personality and identity. All we want is for him to choose for himself, rather than us restricting him to anything.
What do parents even get from restricting their children?
Thankfully, Joshua has no idea that people label clothes, toys and essentially everything based on gender and when the time comes we hope that he sees it as the silly (and potentially harmful) idea that it is. Children are growing up being restricted from wearing and playing with whatever they like, as well as being expected to get certain jobs and have particular hobbies.
Why box your child in, when we should be teaching them that they can be who they want? Whatever our children are into or passionate about should be encouraged, never restricted.