Admittedly, Joshua is one of the only children in his class at preschool who is still in nappies and not anywhere near being potty trained. But he just isn’t ready! So, I’m in no rush to push it on him. Potty training is such a long process and we often forget that it is completely lead by the child – not the other way round.
Recently, someone made a comment (which was directed at Joshua) about him not being potty trained. “[name] is 18 months old and doesn’t wear nappies during the day, he goes on the potty, doesn’t he Joshua?”
No one should be making those types of comments towards a toddler, especially when it’s in a bid to make him feel like he’s behind where he should be and is doing things wrong. Being pressure on a toddler is just plain wrong.
Joshua isn’t potty trained yet and we couldn’t care less. But why? Because while it would be far easier for us (seriously, why would I choose to spend £££ on something he’s just gonna poop in?), we are in absolutely no rush to force him when he clearly isn’t ready.
For almost two years now we’ve had a potty and an attachment for our toilet – which he’s regularly sat on. He also watches us go to the toilet daily, so he knows exactly what to do and what the toilet is for. We’re so conscious about not overly encouraging him and accidentally end up pushing him away even further from the idea, so we’re backing off until he’s ready.
Potty training should be a fun and exciting time (for the child, the parents get the fun of clearing up all the poop off the carpet – ha!) but if we were to force him when is isn’t ready, we’d end up having a toddler who is scared of using the potty because it’s become such a negative place.
The judgement around potty training is hard, but then which area of parenting don’t we get judged for? I’ve felt pressurised into potty training quickly and often feel like others think that I’m a lazy parent or are judging my parenting skills. When actually we’re doing the best we can for our son.
The ‘problem’ with Joshua is if he struggles to see the logic or reasoning behind something, he just won’t do it and potty training is no different. To him, he cannot see why he just can’t continue doing what he’s always done.
Why the sudden change? Why do I have to start going somewhere different to yesterday?
Joshua also struggles to tell me in time to actually make it to the potty. We’ve attempted potty training a few times now and he’s never successfully made it to the potty. In face, he’s only ever managed to tell me that he needed to go twice but either as he was peeing or literally seconds before he started.
Potty training is a different journey for every child and is something they need to take the lead on, otherwise it just wouldn’t work. If the time isn’t right, then that’s fine, just wait until it is! Your child will make it very clear to you when they are ready – perhaps not verbally, but they will show signs of being ready when the time is finally right.
Until then, happy parent, happy child!