PTSD, Online Therapy & Me

Growing up, I wasn’t aware that mental health was a ‘thing’, it just wasn’t spoke about. At least it wasn’t in my family, which is ironic as most of my family suffer with some form of mental health issue. Whether that be depression, anxiety or something different, most of us suffer with some form of mental health problem. Which is why, I guess, it never came much of a shock when I got diagnosed as having depression.

However, recently, we’ve realised that my main problem isn’t depression and that I have actually been living with PTSD for a few years, without realising. With PTSD, I have memory loss which results in me having to live through phone alarms, notebooks, calendars and notes dotted around the house just to make sure I brush my son’s teeth in the morning. It’s horrendous. I live with constant anxiety and you know that feeling when you walk into a room and forget why? That. I have that underlying feeling almost constantly and it’s a living hell.

Once we became aware that I had PTSD and I should be focusing on ‘treating’ that, rather than depression, I got enrolled onto some online therapy sessions by my doctor. Admittedly, it now feels like I have fallen out of the system because I haven’t had an update or any further appointments in such a long time, but online therapy was so convenient.

When I first got a letter through inviting me to sign up, it was the first I had ever heard of online therapy sessions and I will admit that I had my doubts. What a weird idea, having someone who can’t see or interact with you discussing your mental health? It said in the letter that they would help me learn to cope, live and get better. I didn’t believe it. I shrugged it off and half-convinced myself not to take part, because what was the point? It wouldn’t help, how would it?

The day of the webinar, I had an email invitation come through and I decided at the last minute that I would go for it and I’m so glad that I did. While having therapy in person is, for me, the ideal, online therapy will help so many others out there.

I have many days when I can hardly get out of bed, I have no motivation and I just want to lounge on the sofa all day long. With online therapy, I get to do just that but while having sessions as well and getting the help that I need.

If you are considering therapy of any nature, it can be so daunting turning up to your first appointment. I’ve been there, most of us with mental health problems have. I remember attending my first counselling session when I was 16 years old and I was terrified. I have always found it hard to even acknowledge my feelings, so I knew that being asked questions that I just wouldn’t be able to answer on the spot. Even simple questions of, how was your childhood? I just can’t answer right away without thinking for a while. If I could have had online therapy back then, I think I would have snapped it up.

Better Help is a website that can help you find the right online therapist for you, so if this is something you feel could potentially help, I would give it a whirl!

*Disclaimer – this is a collaborative post with Better Help.

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