Stop Judging Me!


It seems that wherever you go, parents are being judged one way or the other. In the news and on social media, all we see is:

“Why cuddling your baby is doing you both harm”

“When your baby should sleep through the night”

“Breast is best”

Every little decision that there is to make about how we look after our little ones, there is always someone with the ‘right’ answer.

When Joshua was a newborn, we were bombarded with opinions on our parenting style and most of the time, it came from family. Quite frankly, I really could not give a shit what anyone else thinks or how they did it. No-one can care for our son better than us, because no-one knows a child like their parents do. You think you can look after my child better? Take a look at the children you raised first!

We have even been given unsolicited advice from people since Joshua was born and I can honestly say that it has rarely been useful.

On occasion, Joshua has also been reduced to tears because they have directed comments towards him. I remember when we were on a family holiday, I bought us all some snacks (a packet of crisps and a drink each). Joshua leaned over and signalled silently that he would like to swap crisps with me; I didn’t mind and swapped his to the ones he preferred. When someone exclaimed at him:

“Don’t you ever get told no?”

Just you hang on a fucking minute! Yes, he does!! Absolutely he gets told no, but only when he needs to be. Innocently asking to swap a bloody packet of crisps? Go fuck yourself!

During the first year of being parents we were bombarded with opinions and comments left, right and centre. Family would tell us that they didn’t agree with something we did, told us that Joshua was fat (that was a favourite at one point!) and at one point we were even told that the bibs we bought were wrong!

Very often, we also have problems with other people trying to parent Joshua. They believe they have the authority to tell him how he should be behaving. I have lost count how many times our family have tried to punish him and correct his behaviour to something they consider more appropriate.

Seemingly so, us parents cannot do anything right. As parents, we only try to do our best and, honestly, we are the only ones who know what is best for our baby. Leave us to it!


7 thoughts on “Stop Judging Me!

  1. Very well written and so true, there is nothing to make you feel worse than judgement. Sometimes I wish I was parenting in the 1970s as I’m sure parents had more confidence in their own parenting then. Also (although obviously there were negative consequences resulting from this), people tended to mind their own business. The other side of the coin is that a lot of people can be a bit over precious about their children, for instance if someone tells their child off. Yes, it can be inappropriate to tell someone else’s child off, but at the same time it can occasionally be the right thing to do The balance between not judging and being overy precious is ridiculously precarious. Another dimension is that you are judged by your children as well. In fact as my blog states, children are our worst critics.


  2. Hi Kaiden! I found this post on Twitter earlier today and finally got around to coming to comment. I didn’t realize how long ago it was so I had to do a lot of scrolling (but love your blog!). As a mother, I always follow my instincts. It started with listening to everyone under the sun and doing whatever they told me to, reading dozens of books and articles to be the “perfect” parent but nobody knows our kids like we know them. Not doctors. Not our parents. Not the “veteran” parents. I find it difficult to ever try to have friends who are also parents because I hate being triggered by the parenting wars. The way that I see it, I don’t care what parenting decisions others make, and I’m going to continue to choose what I find best for mine. Thanks for sharing! (:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Christina, thank you so much, I’m glad you stumbled across my blog and enjoyed giving it a ready through! You’re completely right, we’re the only people who know our children. No parent is perfect, but we’re the best we can be for our little ones! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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