It’s All Just a Bit Shit

Well, it’s all a bit shit at the moment, isn’t it? How are you all? We are now on week two of lockdown here in the UK – to be honest it may be less, it may be more; I have lost all sense of time! With the schools shutting, we are now home-schooling while working from home; it’s no picnic is it?

Joshua is finding it all a bit confusing. He is enjoying being at home and spending lots of time together as a family – he doesn’t see much of Oliver during the week, so it’s been lovely for him (and us) to have our boys together. But he is also missing his school, teacher, friends and freedom. He’s missing being able to go to soft play, walks along the beach, trips to the arcade, our weekend family swimming, his swimming lessons and everything else that we used to get up to. Joshua has always hated being indoors for too long, so you can imagine how different this is to him.

For home-schooling, we have quite a loose schedule. I did write out a proper schedule the weekend before we started, but it got discarded after about 3 days. It just didn’t work. While it made it a whole lot easier and gave Joshua the structure he needs, Oliver demands so much of my time that it just couldn’t be done. Oliver is 3 months old now and we think he may be teething, so he needs a lot of attention at the moment. If he’s sleeping, he wants to be cuddled and if he’s awake, he’s only happy on his play mat for a few minutes at a time. As long as Joshua finishes the work that I set him for the day, I don’t care when he does it or how long it takes him. He is very good though; he loves learning so it’s never a fight to get him to do his work. He will happily sit down and work through it and at the same time, he will be happy to take a break while I see to Oliver. Thankfully, having no structure hasn’t seemed to bother him.

No one knows when the schools in the UK will re-open, there are a lot of talks about schools not opening until September – which sucks big time… for everyone. I know that Joshua would be devastated if he returned to school without having his current teacher, he had a long time left with her and he loved her and her style of teaching. Joshua was doing great at school and I just don’t think I’m up to the job myself. Home-schooling is a shit ton of pressure – Joshua is so intelligent and requires a lot of stimulation. He loves learning but he also forgets things if he doesn’t have enough practice. He also has problems with his speech, which school was helping with, so I’m worried that I’m just not teaching him in the way he needs or if I’m good enough for him.

The prospect of home-schooling until September scares me. While I’m off work on leave, I was going to spend the year getting back into freelancing which isn’t really happening at the moment. We’re not even sure if our jobs are safe. I have no idea if my job will be there for me when I’m ready to go back and while Jamie’s is safe at the moment as he works from home, we can’t take it for granted as no one knows what’s around the corner.

It’s all just a bit shit and it has affected our lives in almost every way possible.

I’m completely on board with being on lockdown and the schools shutting, it was the right thing to do and it needed to be done. I would prefer being at home with my family, knowing that we are all safe.

It’s hard finding positives in this situation when there’s so much shit in the world. But let’s hope that this thing is over and done with as quickly as possible, so we can all get back to our normal lives.

Stay Safe x

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